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14:23 Stanley Herrarte 84 Comentarios


ok, les cuento, Goyo es un locutor de Guate. Sus ideas son tan ingenuas, tan ingenuas, que rayan en lo vulgar, lo cómico o lo genial... tanto que son usadas para una publicación en una revista para jóvenes dentro del diario Siglo 21. Aquí les dejo la versión que se publicó por el estreno de Terminator: Salvation
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Imagínense la escena... relámpagos y chispeantes luces eléctricas azotan la zona viva, y de repente, aparece la figura de algo que parece ser un hombre... luciendo su abdomen de six pac (pero en bolsa) mejor se pone una chumpa, y aborda una pasola para cumplir su misión en un vertiginoso viaje en el tiempo... no señores, no es Terminator, es algo peor: le llaman GOYONEITOR!!!


La primera misión de Goyoneitor es conquistar a la mayor cantidad de chicas lindas, y por eso se dirige a Kalhua, pero como no lo dejan entrar, lanzando una mirada desafiante, le dice al Bully de la puerta: I´ll be back. Entonces mejor regresa en el tiempo para tratar de efectuar misiones más sencillas. Aquí te presentamos el listado.


La primer misión en el viaje al pasado es eliminar a un nerd antes de que saque un libro didáctico especializado en trigonometría, física fundamental, matemática y cualquier cosa relacionadas con números. El nerd es conocido como Baldor. Si Goyoneitor tiene éxito, en el presente no existirá el álgebra. (Status Misión: Failed!)


La siguiente misión será viajar a la época de los mayas, y entregarles armas de fuego para enfrentar a la inminente amenaza de los conquistadores españoles. Si la misión tiene éxito, en el presente viviremos en árboles y selva virgen. Si el objetivo fracasa, los guerreros mayas se eliminaran entre ellos mismos, y en el presente Tikal, Yaxsha y El Mirador serán sitios arqueológicos. (Status Misión: Failed!)


También viajará hacia el pasado para volar un barrilete en medio de una tormenta, pero en lugar de hilo, usará alambre de cobre (waw, que ingenioso) si la misión tiene éxito, será reconocido como el inventor de la electricidad, y su rostro aparecerá en los billetes de 100 dólares. Si la misión falla, alguien más será el inventor que aparece en los billetes de 100. Traté de obtener el nombre, pero no tengo el dinero. (Status Misión: Failed!)


Otra de las misiones será llegar hasta el apartamento de un ciudadano norteamericano depresivo, conocido por sus amigos como Kurt Cobain. El objetivo es retirar una escopeta que el artista guarda desde su infancia, y usarla para jugar al Duck Hunt. Si la misión tiene éxito, Nirvana grabará unos 15 discos (y el último lo distribuirán gratis por internet) si Goyoneitor fracasa, Kurt Cobain se convertirá en el rey del Grunge. (Status Misión: Failed!)


Por ultimo, el T – 05 (modelo y número de serie de Goyoneitor) deberá viajar hasta el palacio de Gales, y decirle a la princesa Diana que se abroche el cinturón de seguridad. Si la misión es exitosa, la princesa hará una visita oficial a Guatemala en el 2010 para inaugurar un complejo de entretenimiento All You Can Drink for Free. Si el objetivo fracasa, las noticias acusaran de manejar borracho al piloto real. (Status Misión: Failed!)

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A ver, A ver, A ver...por allí me contó un pájaro chismoso que todo lo que se publica en Faces firmado por Goyo lo escribes en realidad tú Stanley Maria, y conociéndo al tal Goyo no me resulta difícil creer esa teoría. Abrazos :)

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Buen uso de la imaginación... y por cierto vos Stanley: necesito que me autoricés a adaptar la historia de cuando te aplicaron cierta peligrosa llave de lucha libre. Tu crédito aparecería entre paréntesis, al estilo (W. Axl Rose/Izzy Stradlin). Ahí me contás.

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